Okay, after my last journal, I felt that I should share something that I realized today. I figured out why I grow bored of hobbies so quickly. With the exception of puzzle solving, which gives me a sense of accomplishment, I pretty much define my sense of self-worth not by what I accomplish, but by the impact what I do has on others and the world as a whole. Meaning in life: it can be a blessing and it can be a curse. Hobbies that do not further my impact on people/society in general seem frivolous to me, thereby stripping any motivation I may feel to engage in them.

Let's face it, I'm not an artist for art sake. I like my images to have meaning. It's why my heart of the Ocean image is my favorite of my apophysis images. I just feel like my making these images and posting them here is nothing more than casting a pebble in the ocean. Sure, there are small outward ripples, but compared to the surrounding waves, they seem so inconsequential.

What does this mean for me? Only that I think I really need to refocus my efforts towards art and images that have meaning to me. Sadly, fractals don't easily fit that category, occasionally a fractal image will have profound meaning to me, but not usually. Usually, I just adjust things until I say "Ooh, that looks cool.", but the art itself is nothing more than that. I really want to go back to producing images for three stories: one by David Brin, and two I am in the process of writing myself. This means more 2D and 3D art from me. Please be kind regarding my 2D. I know I have a lot of room for improvement in that realm, but I'll never get better if I don't practice and figure out what needs improving.

Again, if you're here for my fractals, worry not, they are still fun and easy, so I'll still do some of those from time to time.